How to Choose Your Attendants

Ashley Rader

Ashley Rader is the owner of Moments of Elegance, an online wedding boutique specializing in beach wedding favors, summer wedding favors and a huge collection of unique wedding favor ideas that will say thank you with style and will truly make your event unforgettable.

There's a lot to consider in planning your wedding, and choosing the people who will stand at your side is no easy choice. You have feelings, friendships, siblings, and finances to consider.


Here's a guide to choosing your wedding attendants.

Determine the number of attendants you want.

There isn't a magic number on how many attendants make a wedding perfect, but there are some guidelines that may help you decide the number for your wedding. A smaller wedding calls for fewer attendants. A more formal wedding calls for more attendant. The average wedding has four to six attendants each for the bride and groom.

The general guideline for determining the number of attendants is to plan for one groomsman for every 50 people you are inviting. Assign bridesmaids based on the groomsmen. Traditionally, it's fine to have more groomsmen than bridesmaids, but never vice versa.

Look at your budget.

Remember, the more attendants you have, the more it will cost in flowers, gifts and accommodations. These are all things that the couple (or parents) pays for. The attendants are usually responsible for their attire. Be sure to consider the financial impact on the attendants you have in mind. You may be able to have more attendants if you choose a more reasonable bridesmaid's dress or let groomsmen wear a suit instead of a tuxedo.

Choose less expensive gifts. Ask attendants to bunk up in accommodations. By finding ways to cut costs, you can include everyone on your list.

Choose honor attendants.

If you still can't afford to have everyone in your wedding as bridesmaids or groomsmen, ask them to be honorary attendants. They can still attend functions such as the bridesmaids' luncheon and rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, these honorary attendants sit on the front row at the ceremony.

This is a great option for younger brothers and sisters who want to be included in your wedding. Adding their name to the program as an honorary attendant is a special touch they will appreciate.

Ask your chosen attendants to represent you at your wedding.

Be creative when asking your friends and family to be your attendants.

·         Send a personal note or ask them to lunch.

·         Don't do it in front of other people.

·         Send your bridesmaid-to-be a special cookie gram. These cute bridesmaid cookies come in a specially-wrapped box that can be sent in the mail.

·         Guys may prefer to ask their groomsmen in a more casual manner - at the gym, on the golf course, somewhere they are comfortable having this conversation.

Be understanding.

·         Be sure to ask your attendants to be in your wedding at least six months before the wedding. This allows them time to save money, arrange work and family schedules, buy their attire, and make their travel arrangements.

·         Be considerate of anyone that has to decline. You are asking for more than their support. You are asking them to commit their time and money to your wedding. If they decline, don't get mad. Have a backup.

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  • Wice says
    • "The average wedding has four to six attendants each for the bride and groom" - that seems more than the average in NZ where three or four seems far more common.
    • "One groomsman for every fifty people attending: - they really must have bigger weddings in the US as with 4-6 attendants each, that's 200-300 guests!
    •"Rehersal dinnes" - not yet common in NZ thank heavens!

    Oh let me mock tonight - just imagining the groom sending out cookie-grans to ask his mates to be in the wedding party! LOL!
  • CheldeWyatt says
    I didn’t really like the idea in the article but las vegas elopement really sound different. Want to know more about it check out the link given.

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