Problems in the bedroom can arise at any stage of a relationship. Read on to discover the most common conundrums and how to fix them fast.
1. I’m bored….
So you’ve been with your partner for a while and settled into once-a-week, lights off, socks-on sex with little effort or excitement. It’s comfortable yet uninspiring. You could try creating a wild card jar. You and your partner each write down 6 new ideas/ moves/ objects/ people you’d like to bring into the bedroom. That’s 12 suggestions for enlightening your fading sex life - so you can try one each month.
Instant Fix: Buy an illustrated sex guide. Not only are they packed with heaps of helpful suggestions and how-to positions, the pictures themselves are a turn on! We have a range at sexgear.co.nz from as little as $19.95.
2. Forgotten Foreplay
Your sex life not so much stroking, touching and kissing as it is thrusting, bucking and slumping? It’s not uncommon for couples to find themselves rushing through sex without stopping to really taste it. And the first sensual move to go missing is kissing. Remember when you first met and you couldn’t keep your lips off each other?
Instant Fix: Don’t kiss your partner on the lips for a week. Kiss everywhere but… Soon you’ll both realize what you’ve been missing.
3. Touch my body but please don’t look at it!
Just because you think your boobs are more like mosquito bites than melons or your spare tyre is fit for a tractor, it does not mean your partner thinks the same thing! Reality is, your partner is probably just happy to get you naked; and a little body exhibitionism is going to go a lot further in the turn-on stakes then swaddling yourself in the sheets – regardless of your shape or size.
Instant Fix: As harsh as it sounds – get into the gym or go for a run. Working up a sweat helps you to feel (at least psychologically) better about your body. And research suggests that the half hour post-exercise is a very aroused time for both men and women.
4. He/ She is just selfish in bed.
Both parties should enter into a sexual encounter with the intention to please each other. Sadly, this is sometimes not the case. However, it is important to step back and see how you might be contributing to this problem! Have you told your partner what you want? Are you assertive when he or she starts dominating the horizontal happenings? Because it’s up to you to speak up or forever hold your orgasm.
Instant Fix: We are only human so be mindful of bruising your partner’s ego when you start voicing your disappointments. A novel way to express your desires is to send your partner an x-rated voucher. Buy pre-written ones from sexgear.co.nz for $7.00.
5. My partner ‘just doesn’t feel like it.’
If your partner is stressed, not eating properly, tired or run-down it’s unlikely that he’s going to dance the horizontal tango with you. And if you’re as keen as a sexed-up bean to get familiar with the bed sheets, your mismatched libidos can become very frustrating. For both of you.
Instant Fix: It’s a toughie but the only resolution for this is to talk to each other openly and reach a compromise for the frequency of your fornication. Leave this too long and you’ll find one partner looking elsewhere for satisfaction and/or the other partner thinking of sex as a chore and not a pleasure.
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