Sex vs. Romance

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

Have you ever noticed that you and your partner have different ideas about sex and romance? While you don’t really see the link between the two and just enjoy your time between the sheets, occasionally she will insist that you make the effort to be romantic before getting into bed with you. If you’re confused about when you need to be romantic and when it’s okay to just have a good frolic, read on.

Candle Light Dinner

Let’s start with the most important day in the romantic calendar – your anniversary. This is the one day annually when you are absolutely required to sweep your partner off her feet. Most women like their anniversary to be treated as a daylong occasion that is dedicated to your love and affection for one another. So you will be expected you to go the extra mile and plan something special in order to receive your reward – anniversary sex.
While the date of your anniversary doesn’t have to be engrained on your brain, you should set a reminder somewhere so you don’t forget this momentous date.

Quickie sex is all about passion and spontaneity. It’s not being able to keep your hands off your partner and needing to have her right then and there. You might be surprised to know that women have the same sexual urges as men when it comes to quickies; it’s a chance to get off quickly without all of the before and after parts that come with romantic sex. This means that there is no room for romance and it’s all about the sex for her too.

Date Night
Once the ‘honeymoon’ period in a relationship is over, you can find the sex becomes less frequent and other priorities creep back into your life, like rugby training, work or family commitments. When this happens, most smart couples consciously set time aside for them, in the form of a date night. You may think that date night is a time for sex, but for her it’s for romance and sex.
It doesn’t mean just turning off the TV and getting on with it. Date night is the one night a week when you should focus all of your attention on your partner and forget about all of your other commitments. It can be as simple as enjoying a meal and a bottle of wine together or as elaborate as you want with flowers and gifts. This night serves as a relationship booster and reminds your partner that you still love her and want to be with her as well as find her attractive, and yes, most women do need reassuring about these things.

Make Up Sex
During arguments tempers flare, blood pressures rise and passions run high. This is the perfect recipe for some hot, animalistic sex. In this situation the sex acts as a physical release for all of the frustrated energy that you have built up (and romance will be the last thing or either of your minds). Hopefully arguments aren’t a common thing in your relationship so cease the opportunity for physical, romance free, make up sex when it comes along.

The phrase ‘men are from mars, women are from Venus’ couldn’t be more true than when it comes to men and women’s different perceptions of romance. But all good relationships require compromise, so learning what is expected of you in different sexy scenarios should help you maintain a long and happy relationship!

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