It’s exciting to make plans. Having visions for the future and a clear idea of what that future involves makes life inspiring. Sometimes, however, our dreams do not work out in the way that we had planned. Everything works out the way it was intended to pan out. The moment that we let the need for total control of our lives go the more we can begin to breathe easy.
We are allowed to be sad when our plans don’t work out. Especially when those plans involve plans we had made with other people. We make promises to each other based on a future which we cannot possibly predict. Don’t hold resentment towards other people for the promises that they sometimes cannot keep if they hurt you whilst not intending to do so. I’m learning so much as a person about coming from a place of love and learning to let things go.
When you love something you must sometimes set it free. I am not going to go into detail about my personal life here because that is not what this article is about. It is more a way to shed some insight and offer some support to those who are also coming to the end of relationships in the forms and shapes that they were.
When something that you loved and appreciated in your life comes to an end, naturally you will be sad. You will go through the stages of grief…Sadness, Anger, Pain, Denial…I myself used to have a history of going through quite a sassy phase where I go out and adopt a completely separate ego and become another person.
Breakups and seperations are a huge opportunity for growth and self development. It is a chance for you to look inward and regain your strength and go it alone again. Don’t be afraid of being alone. Take your power back and make sure that just because your life has now changed and your plan needs revising you get the excitement of drawing up and painting a brand new plan!
By they way, it is also ok to feel. Feelings are normal. If you need to cry, cry. And that awful, uncomfortable pain in your chest….it will subside and go away. It reminds you that you do have a heart. The people with all the power in love and who truly experience love in its pure form are those who allow themselves to be vulnerable. So don’t kick yourself for being in the position you are in. Those who protect their hearts never truly get to experience love properly in its purest most real form.
I suppose I am just jibber jabbering now. I usually have an overall point that has a beginning a middle and a resolution but my head is all over the place and that is because I am learning and growing myself. I am finding ways to regain balance within my own self and develop as much maturity from this situation as I possibly can. I believe in the guidance of god and the angels and I know that this is a time I will look back on with pride and say “I learnt from that.”
People come into our lives and they deliver us with the beautiful gift of their presence and their knowledge and while they are in our lives we grow and mature as human beings. I suppose the biggest message I can send out there after what I have learnt from this is….don’t succumb to the need to place blame and become angry. It doesn’t have to be an argument and it doesn’t have to be hurtful . But also let each other have some time to digest and process the emotion before you say things that you are both going to regret. At the end of the day you came to love this person and wanted to be attached to them and lifes’ turns and tumbles got in the way somehow, or circumstances changed. You can still separate with love and respect and take the learning and perhaps even still be friends. It doesn’t all have to be so serious and negative.
Relationships give us security and a feeling of a known plan for the future and that’s exciting. It gives us hope and elation to know that we have a plan for a life with someone. But the most beautiful sustaining never ending relationship that you can have is the relationship you have with yourself. So have faith in the knowledge that just like all the times before you will heal and regroup.
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