Most relationships need a little romance. New relationships are often awash with it but more established relationships sometimes get a little parched from lack of romance. So start looking for your opportunities to be sure your partner feels really loved. Birthdays, anniversaries or Valentine’s day are ready-made events. Feel free to create occasions of your own to celebrate your relationship.
Maybe this starts to sound expensive. But romance is often about feeling special to someone, and time and attention communicate that message. Realising that someone thinks about you, pays attention to what you like and enjoys time in your company is more precious than any price tag. So if you want to up the romance in your relationship, spend your time rather than your money.
Here are some things you might try:
* Have a picnic at a favourite park or beach
* Pamper your partner with a nice relaxing bath while you cook a favourite dish for dinner. Add some atmosphere to your meal with candles and music.
* Go for a walk together, make it a stroll so you can talk!
* Go for a bike ride together to somewhere with a lovely view.
* Choose a DVD you will both enjoy and curl up on the couch together.
* Have a private party for two, put on some mood music and dance.
* Write your partner a card or letter describing all the things you love about them.
* Create a CD of favourite music as a gift.
* Turn down the lights, warm up some massage oil and enjoy each other.
Whatever else you do, make sure you tell your partner how you feel about them and what you like about them. Sincerity works better than polish, so use your own words, they will mean more to your partner than words from anyone else.
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I believe that despite our largely being unconscious of our motivation, we often do romantic things largely because deep down, we hope for some sort of reward – whether it is emotional gratification – that gorgeous smile or happy feeling, physical pleasure – cuddles/sex , or something more concrete – goodies! If we do something romantic for our partner and if flops, we feel let down and defeated.
On the other hand, the term love describes caring about someone and their happiness and welfare regardless of any reward. If two people really love each other, they will work out a balance in what they do together. It’s not something contrived.
Hubbie may not be romantic, but he is there when I need him - even if it is inconvenient for him. He creeps in and brings me a cup of tea of every morning in bed even though I’m usually asleep and never say thank you. If my car battery is flat, he comes home and sorts it. We know each others strengths and weaknesses. I can fight with him and know that we will always make up. These aren’t romantic things but they make me love him and tell me that he loves me. His love may not give me butterflies but it sinks into me like the warmth of the sun.
Romance is overrated!
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