Common relationship problems start shortly after you move in together with your spouse.
But what you’ve never been told is that this is the typical 'power struggle', the second phase of any relationship, a troubled - but necessary (like puberty) - developmental stage.
The illusion that romantic love lasts forever, that true love does not require any work is the main cause of most common relationship problems you - like virtually all couples - are faced with.
If both you and your partner were once thoughtful, interested, and excited (in every way) by each other, now you may have become bored, passive, irritated, or restless in your interaction.
What May Trigger Common Relationship Problems?
Household work, sharing finances, ego hassles, annoying personal habits, ex-spouses, stepchildren, friends, in-laws, and more often than not, lack of knowledge about essential relationship principles, are just a few factors that generate conflicts.
Being right (or accurate) becomes more important for both of you than collaborative teamwork. Differences that were once overlooked now are hopeless obstacles.
Instead of partners, the power struggle transforms you in adversaries; you use criticism, blame, sarcasm, and even hostility on a daily basis.
Agonizing, isn’t it?
Your anger and depression make you and your partner start neglecting, avoiding, and losing interest in each other; gradually, you drift apart.
Many couples give up during this most difficult stage. In fact, 50% of divorces happen during the power struggle.
Most of the couples that decide to stay together through the unhappiness and conflicts of their relationship problems for the kids, or because of financial, social, or religious issues, are totally alienated from each other and their sexual intimacy is gone.
If you are going through the power struggle stage and don’t want to divorce, you are most likely to disconnect from your partner - even if you end up living under the same roof.
Not knowing how to heal your relationship, feeling flat and empty, you tend to redirect most of your energy into a so-called 'parallel marriage': long work hours or a huge amount of time spent with hobbies, sports, gym, Internet, children, or volunteering.
You may even get involved with another woman without realizing that - in this particularly vulnerable period – it may turn into a passionate and destructive affair.
Sadly, this damages even more your primary relationship and almost never works, since you'll repeat the same errors in the new relationship’s power struggle stage all over again.
What To Do
Are you one of the few people who are looking for a better solution than divorce, a ‘parallel marriage’, or a temporary affair? If your relationship is not completely compromised, now you need to get help!
No, not your well-meaning friend - what you need is qualified, impartial third party assistance. Choose one of the Imago relationship counselors in your area, or an experienced relationship coach and make sure you are willing to change and give your relationship one more fair chance.
You must understand that this stage of common relationship problems is expected, necessary, and meant to be surmounted.
If you really want to overcome this difficult period, get the tools you need to go into the ‘transformation stage’: http://www.mens-relationship-advice.com/relationship-stages.html
Serge Cohn coaches evolved men on how to choose a life partner, how to solve relationship problems, and how to keep romance alive. By blending his experience with the wisdom of his mentors, he helps you navigate the world of love, relationships, and self-growth. Download your free e-book from www.mens-relationship-advice.com
Plausible impossibilities should be preferred to unconvincing possibilities. Aristotle
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