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For me, the term ‘romance’ isn’t my favourite word. It means something sentimental; it's about the dream and the excitement and mystery of love. It's the unreal, ephemeral aspect of emotional, sexual love and desire. It comes sweeping in like the wind and often is gone just as quickly. One minute you're all romantic and 'in love', the next minute 'you're out'!
I believe that despite our largely being unconscious of our motivation, we often do romantic things largely because deep down, we hope for some sort of reward – whether it is emotional gratification – that gorgeous smile or happy feeling, physical pleasure – cuddles/sex , or something more concrete – goodies! If we do something romantic for our partner and if flops, we feel let down and defeated.
On the other hand, the term love describes caring about someone and their happiness and welfare regardless of any reward. If two people really love each other, they will work out a balance in what they do together. It’s not something contrived.
Hubbie may not be romantic, but he is there when I need him - even if it is inconvenient for him. He creeps in and brings me a cup of tea of every morning in bed even though I’m usually asleep and never say thank you. If my car battery is flat, he comes home and sorts it. We know each others strengths and weaknesses. I can fight with him and know that we will always make up. These aren’t romantic things but they make me love him and tell me that he loves me. His love may not give me butterflies but it sinks into me like the warmth of the sun.
Romance is overrated!
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