Discussing :: Perfect marriages, perfect partners - A myth?

#1

Perfect marriages, perfect partners - A myth?

We talk so much about perfect partners and perfect marriages. Maybe I'm jaded or maybe I mix with an odd bunch, but I thought of all my friends and relations and I can't honestly say that there is a single couple whose relationship I would want to emulate. There is a huge diversity in these relationships. Some couples seem to be totally co-dependant; others fight constantly; some have a dominant partner; some do their own thing. Whatever happened to the "Donna Reid" type famly where adults almost always did the right thing and couples genuinely enjoyed each other's company despite/because of living together for years and years. Are there any long-standing couples you know who you know are perfectly happy and don't want to change things about their partner and their relationship? Do you think that whole idea of lifelong partnered bliss just a myth? If most of us have to work so hard at it, are we just chasing dreams? Finally, do you think partnerships/marriages would be happier if there were definite rules to follow so each person knew their rights and exactly what was expected from them? Should it be mandatory for couples to at least discuss these things in concrete terms before taking 'the plunge"?

#2

A marriage takes work and there will always be tension at some time when you both disagree on something. The real test for a marriage is good communication and how you go about finding a solution. Don't forget both you and your partner are only human so NOBODY is perfect. Nobody said marriage was easy, but why not have fun with your best mate.

#3

I think that there ARE long-standing couples. However, it seems as though so many marriages are ending these days. I think this is really really sad. The majority of my friends have parents who have split and it amazes me! Why get married if you can't commit??? I don't think marriages/partnerships would be happier if there were rules to follow, the relationship would be no fun! You mentioned that there are diversity in relationships - i agree and I think this is completely normal these days. Some relationships suit some more than others, some like to be much more independent..I do think time has changed as I look at peoples grandparents and they're still together - why change now?!!!

#4

I want to believe in long-standing marriages and half do. My great grandparents were together for 69 years and my nana and poppa have been together now for 45 years and they are both only 65 years. I do however understand that times have changed and no it's common to look around more and perhaps want certain qualities in a partner. I am only 22 yet I feel I have found the man I want to spend my life with. He is my best friend. My boyfriend yet still just my friend. We understand each other and have no communication barriers. I've been in long relationships through high school and when I was 17 had what I call my 'skank year. Shopped around and learnt what I like and what I don't. Got it out of my system so I came out saying 'yes, ideally I'm looking for this, this and this in a man' and three years ago I met him. We are all different and there is NO such thing as the perfect partner but as they say, he is not the perfect man, and I'm not the perfect lady, but we're perfect for each other. For my nana and tell me "he is amazing with you. You both have outrageous and different personalities but you just seem to balance each other out" meant alot to me. Believe in love as it can be found ♥

#5

I really want to believe in this. I think that families are a lot stronger and therefore society is too, if people are in stable, committed relationships and children are being brought up by both of their parents in a loving family home. Unfortunatley this is not the case in many families around the country and I think that's really sad. My parents and grandparents have all been together and married for years. Of course they have had their ups and downs, as most couples do, but they worked things out and stayed together and that's what I want for myself.

#6

Life isn't easy, add busy jobs, kids, family, hobbies and differences. You have to work at it, be loving to each other and realise that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence!

#7

If you think someone else has the perfect marriage then you’re dreaming. All marriages can have an off day occasionally, that just part of life and you need to be able to see past this. Arguments usually come about because there’s a misunderstanding or one party is not being reasonable. Civil communication will solve most problems. Why not be grateful for what you have, not what you could have.

#8

Perfect marriages, perfect partners - A myth?..........It is either a myth and a reality... when we fall inlove with our partners, we already consider it perfect, some may end up marrying some may just be willing to live-in... but the fact that we decide to live together, it is already PERFECT, it was a decision made by both parties, and it is a JOURNEY of LIFE that two people inlove will take to in our imperfect world, so it is just a choice of perfection that we take for our journey... remember imperfection makes life perfect! Live life, Love Life, Laugh life!!!

#9

Rules are made to be broken. Relationships take work and there's no such thing as perfect anything. You just have to know how to love and forgive.

#10

A myth. Reality is marriage and partners are imperfect. But if there is true love, everything will be perfect (in a way). The kids are the most important fruit of a relationship so both parties should make the relationship work. Its not anymore, me-me-me or the other but the kids.

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