One Night Stands – the dos and don’ts

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

The term “one night stand” comes from the days when touring theatre companies performed for single nights in towns whose limited populations could fill the concert hall only once.  Modern one night stands usually don’t require an audience, but they do involve a one-night-only performance.Great one-night stands are tough to pull off. Plenty can go wrong in between the time that your eyes meet and you make your inevitable post-coitus escape. This is what you need to know to do it right.

Kiss in the shades

Be Up Front

Believe it or not, not all men are just looking for sex. Some of them would like sex and a relationship to match. So don’t assume that just because you met in a bar at 1.50 am he only wants a one-night stand. If you know you’re not going to want to swap numbers or snuggle the next morning, tell him before you get into the cab. Otherwise you’re going to have to explain in the morning… with a hangover.

Be Safe

Heading off on your own with a man you have just met is risky business. The more you and your friends know about him the better. If you are comfortable heading away with him by yourself, let you friends know where you are going and make sure you have a fully charged phone with you. One-night stands are a burst of sexuality. They are purely physical and fuelled with mystery. You don’t know him and he doesn’t know you – which also means you don’t know where he’s been or what he might have. Whatever you do, don’t ride bareback. Use a condom. He may say that he’s clean but how do you know for sure? The last thing you want is an unwanted souvenir in the form of a disease or a child!

Beware of the beer goggles

It’s not a good start to the morning waking up and rolling over to find ‘that’ in your bed … and worse he is naked! There’s nothing like a pair of rosé-tinted spectacles for transforming dodgy duds into eligible studs. If in doubt about the potential calibre of your pull, swap numbers with him and arrange to meet up for a drink another night, so you can reassess him while sober before jumping in the sack with him.

Have a get-out (now!) clause

No matter how wonderful he appears now, there is no telling how you’re going to feel tomorrow (he may have a Superman duvet cover or a weakness for wearing leather chaps during sex). Tell him before you get into the cab that you have to get up early to meet a friend. If you do want to hang out the next day, you can say she cancelled and if you don’t you can bolt without hurting his feelings.

SOooo… when should I leave

In the morning things can get a little awkward. Does he want you to leave? Or does he want you to stay longer? The best bet is to leave,it’s always better to do the get out sooner rather than later.If he feels the same, he’ll like you even more when you leave him wanting more; if he doesn’t want to take things further, it will save you the humiliation of being chucked out.

Don't "accidentally" leave anything there

Before you exit the building be absolutely sure you’ve got all of your belongings. There is nothing more humiliating than having to go back later to pick something up. Not to mention he’ll probably think you’ve done it on purpose. On that note, DON’T do it on purpose. If he likes you he’ll call. Likewise, if he stays at yours make sure he doesn’t “accidentally” leave anything either.

Don't take things to heart

Being rejected is never pleasant even when you don’t fancy the guy in question. If he dies the jit at the crack of dawn, remember that you both agreed at the outset that this was for one night, and one night only. You hardly set the standard for a deep and meaningful relationship. Don’t take it to heart –you both made it clear you weren’t in the market for anything serious.

Liked what you got?

If something clicked during your night of passion and now you’d like to take things further it would be wise to proceed with caution.  He’s likely to feel backed into a corner if you confront him while you’re still in bed. Instead, leave him your number and tell him you’d love to meet up with him for a coffee sometime. A daytime date makes it clear you’re looking more than a booty call.

How to let him down gently

The fun is over and now you can’t wait to get him out of the house. But he won’t budge. If you missed step 4 and haven’t already lined up a get-out (now!) clause, the best way to nip things in the bud once and for all is to be honest. Tell him you had a great time but that you’re not in the market for a relationship – simple.

So there you have it, the dos and don’ts of one night stands. Remember one night of no-strings attached sex is only fun if a bit of fun is genuinely all you’re looking for. If you’re looking to get over a broken heart or put pay to feelings of loneliness, it might be wise to stick to one-step-at-a-time dating.

 
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  • Cinty says
    Regardless that these are all pretty much common sense, it's quite hard to remember all these when you've had a few drinks too many
  • KH says
    Too true!
  • Anna says
    lol i love the too many drinks excuse!!
  • Wice says
    Not me. I like to feel happy and relaxed but I never want to be out of control of myself. I don't enjoy seeing anyone lose it, throwing up or falling all over the place.
  • Dee-Dee says
    ...these points are pretty much standard 101....for one nighter's it is always the after the fact that in my view is the problem...especially if the one nighter was at your place then they know where you live etc etc etc.....but I don't think one nighter's is a problem if you are both single....are looking for a bit of fun...are straight up with everything at the beginning and can walk away with a smile on your face...
  • Starlite5 says
    Hahahahahaha! I can never get my head around the one night stand thing and it's absolutely hilarious to me that after a frisky night fuelled by too much grog that instead of a prince you find yourself with a frog or worst a troll! I agree with Dee-Dee that if you're both looking for a bit of fun then what the heck otherwise be wary!
  • New Member says
    http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/one-night-stand-etiquette-the-dos-donts-of-a-brief-encounter-95988 ???? also your intro...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-night_stand
  • New Member says
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  • Alina says
    Too much Happy to read this article.
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  • New Member says
    Nice post, but for more details http://onenightstand1.com provide a bit better info than you on ONS topics, both from male and female perspective, just my 2 cents :) Anycase like I said, nice post.

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