Girls, it’s time to be proud of your privates. Because knowing your body, more intimately than you might feel truly comfortable with, can not only keep you healthy, it can also unlock real sexual empowerment and of course, great sexual enjoyment.
Mirror, mirror on the wall...
For some reason, because culturally they’ve been deemed ‘private’ parts, we women tend to extend that invitation for privacy to ourselves as well. Very few women ever take the opportunity to really look at their intimate areas, particularly beyond the exterior, whereas our male partners could probably sculpt a lifelike replica of their pieces with their eyes shut. Embrace your brave side and take a mirror down there, and just have a look around. Be open and curious, explore yourself internally and externally and accept your genital area as a connected body part, a significant piece of you that deserves a whole lotta love and attention.
Right, now that you’ve had a peek around down there, what’s next? Acceptance! Unless you’ve been gynaecologist-diagnosed with some medical condition, you are normal and there is nothing wrong with the way your vagina looks. (Got the V-word out of the way, hope we’re all feeling better!) The labia minora (the subject of that ‘innie-outie’ debate you’ve heard in recent years) is the most variable aspect between women, some look smaller and tucked in, others are longer and protrude from the outer lips. Most importantly, both are normal. Please remember that there is no such thing as the perfect vagina and those images that you see on the internet are photo shopped to within an inch of their lives. As long as it’s healthy and functional, release any genital anxiety you might be harbouring and be proud of it, because trust me, your partner loves it just the way it is and you should to.
Engage your partner....
Right, now here’s the fun part. Time to get your significant other involved. It’s not uncommon to crave a little external validation when it comes to feeling comfortable with your lady parts. Trust us when we say your partner worships your vagina, because he does. It’s a source of great pleasure for him and oddly enough, that doesn’t change, no matter what it looks like. So let your partner get close to you, leave the lights on and let him simply admire your genital glory. Allow him to compliment you and tell you what he likes, and be sure to accept it even if you’re reluctant to agree. Not only is this very empowering and nurturing, it can also be very erotic to have your partner so intimately involved in this process.
If you’re feeling adventurous, why not let him give you an intimate shave too, allowing him to see all of you and shower you in positive feedback. Just make sure to follow with a quality personal moisturiser to avoid any ingrown hairs or irritation following shaving. And please don’t forget to look after her when it comes to sex too. Invest in a quality lubricant and use it! Lube is designed purely to make sex more enjoyable by reducing friction and avoiding irritation. There are even lubricants designed with the health of your vagina in mind that can help to prevent thrush and even work as a daily remedy for vaginal dryness. Have fun experimenting and it won’t take long to find something that really works for you.
And what impact does this have on my sex life?
One of the biggest barriers to sexual satisfaction in women is a lack of self-confidence. If we have insecurities, they find clever ways of interfering with our ability to crave, enjoy and be satisfied by sex. Sure, this is usually reserved for some wobbly thighs or a squishy stomach, but many of us also possess some degree of closeted anxiety about our lady parts simply because we ignore them. The more we get to know our genitals and be proud of them, the more empowered and confident we feel. The reward? Happier, healthier sex lives. Amen to that sister.
Interview: Ricki Lee
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