How to make your 50 Shades of Grey fantasies a reality

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

With over 10 million copies of the erotic fiction sold worldwide, what is it about 50 Shades of Grey that we find so sexy? And more importantly, how can we have what Ana is having?

Regardless of your opinions on bondage, the 50 Shades trilogy is sexy because it captures the ultimate female fairy-tale.  As reluctant as some of us are to admit it, there is a large faction of the female populous who want a smouldering, arrogant bad boy to crumble under our mesmerising feminine wiles. Christian adores Ana and it is all the more alluring because his enamour is in such contrast to his strong personality.

Christian also cares for Ana and wants her to be pleased sexually. Rather than muttering a hopeful ‘How’s about it?’ once the rugby’s over, Christian dedicates time to understanding Ana’s sexual nuances.  And his compassion for Ana goes beyond sex too (which we all know directly impacts on our bedroom satisfaction), he washes her hair, puts money in her bank account – all without any prompting from Ana.

So how do you get the same satisfaction that Ana enjoys at the skilful hands of Christian? First, get your man to read the book! Let the Christian set the example for him to follow. If he’s not getting the appeal, discuss with him why you think the book is sexy. If the wheels seem like they are starting to set in motion, you’ll need to make sure that you’re open to his dominance. Let him take control.

Should you decide that you both want to explore a little 50 Shades bondage play, ensure that it is focussed on trust and intimacy with your partner. Start with something simple like a satin blindfold. The mystery of not knowing which part of your body your partner is going to explore next can be enough to heighten your usual encounters. If you’re feeling braver than that, you can introduce a set of cuffs to ensure your hands can’t get in the way of the plans he has for your pleasure.  Or, if you’ve decided that this is really for you, try some super versatile, yet still comfortable, love ropes.

Not everyone who reads the series will want to be tied up but look at the books as a key to unlocking some of your other desires. Share your favourite parts with your partner and start talking about what satisfaction means to both of you.


To celebrate the success of the 50 Shades trilogy here in New Zealand, have a trilogy and $10 Sexgear voucher to give away to a lucky reader. 

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