Keeping the Romance Alive

Tonja Weimer talked to Chelsey once about how to deal with the inevitable decline of romance while in a relationship, and what questions you need to ask yourself to see if it’s time you called it quits. Hilary Smith has also taken the time to tell us how to preserve the romance while dating, but for those who are married and have kids, these problems actually seem much more real.

When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it’s natural to fall into comfortable habits and just forget to do things for each other. When you’re married and have kids, it’s even worse. There’s a lot of running around trying to get things done, housework to do, school work to help the kids with, dinners to prepare, carpools to organize… parents often fail to realise that they’re spending less and less time together, and that the romance has begun to die. Luckily, there are some simple ways to keep that spark of romance alive, while still managing the household.

1. Set Aside Time for Each Other
It may seem like a simple solution, but often, the simplest solutions are the best. Dr. Kat, resident sexologist for portal Adam & Eve, offers the following suggestion in a blog post: check into a motel for the night. “Getaway from the kids for a night,” she writes. “They’ll have a great time eating pizza with the babysitter, while you and your lover check into a naughty motel for the evening.” You could also schedule time alone once a week, leaving the kids with their grandparents so they can spend time together too.

2. Have a Date while Dining In
You don’t have to go to fancy restaurants to enjoy romantic dates. As Gregory Godek says in a column on the Cosmopolitan: "Pull out your nicest dishes and light a couple of candles, even if you're just having a mushroom pizza. It's the mood, not the food, that sets a romantic scene. So stick a bouquet of daisies from the corner store in the center of the table, lower the lights, and turn up Enrique Iglesias or Bessie Smith. You could even conveniently forget the utensils so you have an excuse to feed each other."

3. Communicate Constantly
With the rush of chores and work, it’s easy to let a day go by without actually communicating with your partner. As the parents share on Baby Center, however, this doesn’t have to be the case. Some parents choose to send short, sweet text messages to their partners, or even shoot emails to each other when they can’t talk. This keeps things interesting and helps you both get into the mood for romance and intimacy later on.

Many parents unwittingly allow the romance in their relationships to dry out, but with a few easy steps, this doesn’t have to happen. What do you do to keep the romance in your own marriage alive?

Written by E.B

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