Discussing :: How often do you have sex? And how good is it?

#1

Anna
How often do you have sex? And how good is it?

My partner is the only person I have been with (I'm 21 btw) so I have nothing to compare it to and I'm just curious. We don't see each other that often so it's about 2-3 times a week and mostly about a 7/8 out of 10. What about you guys?

#2

Catrina

My current partner is a-sexual so we don't have sex, which is an issue (long story - it's now an open relationship). In my previous marriage we had sex several times a week and it was great. I don't think there is a direct link between frequency and how 'good' it is, but the more you do it the more you understand your partners sexuality, as well as your own.

#3

ibnita

Sometimes a couple of times a week, sometimes less. I don't really keep track as it's all about the quality, not the quantity :)

#4

mahmmatesrulez

Some weeks its more then others, usaully around 3 or 4 times but as ibnita mentioned, its the quality more than anything :)

#5

sophie

None at the moment...I am happily single until Mr Right comes my way! Then we can have loads of sex...most of the week! lol...;)

#6

Wice

Don’t all women wonder at some stage, why people make such a huge deal about sex - particularly the physical rather than the emotional or pro-creative aspects. From a woman's perspective, then why is ‘making love’, seemingly, given more importance than the depth of pleasure which can be constantly fed or starved in everyday life? Once the hormones of youth or intrigue have stopped racing around, how many still consider that sexual penetration and orgasm are the highlights of pleasure in a woman's life rather than a few interesting threads of ‘the rich tapestry’?

Think about it. When you have sex, are you truly making love to each other every time or do you sometimes stop to ask yourself why are you doing this? Is sex always about giving and receiving; or maybe it’s about having control, or maybe about losing control? Is it just something you do for fun, or as a habit, or to fill in time; or is the real importance in connecting? Intercourse may well may be called the ultimate expression of love, however, if one agrees love is an emotion, it is not an emotion that is omni-present in the sexual act.

Sex does not need to involve love, so ask yourself, why must love, and whether it exists or not, be so closely related to sex?
Maybe it shouldn’t be. Maybe we should view sex as simply related to desire? Do we really want it or have we been brainwashed into believing that this is something yummy that that we should want to devour twice, three, five times a week - like chocolate cake or McDonalds? If we see sex as related to desire more closely than to the emotion of love, then sex can be viewed as something done sometimes, simply for pleasure. But does this then negate the idea that sex is the pinnacle of activities carried out to show love, to give those involved the sense of reciprocally sharing the deepest and most satisfying of emotions with another? I guess it comes back to the concept of love and sex being so closely related, simply because they spring from the intrinsic outcome of sex, the making of a new life, being the most intimate and committing gesture of love a man and woman can make.

If sex is not directly involved with procreation, are there things in your life that your would rather your partner did for you than make/love provide intercourse – things you would perhaps swap for sex? Or does monogamy define your relationship, setting you apart from all the other sexual beings in the world?

I guess what I am saying is, who outside their own relationship, should care how often anyone has sex or even about what must be a purely subjective idea of the 'quality' of it? Your individual sexual preferences are yours as much as your individual fingerprints. You make of sex what you want of it. There are no laws, no rule books. The quality of sex is more about what goes on in your head than anywhere else. No one in the media or elsewhere can tell you that you prefer chocolate cake to orange loaf. The same goes for sex. Be true to yourself about what you want/need/desire and how often. Orgasm is given so much importance but the nitty-gritty is that really its primary function is aid to pregnancy (read more about this at"http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/anatomy-of-an-orgasm?page=2) If you are not having sex with a baby in mind, think about why you are having sex – how it makes you and your partner feel towards each other and what makes you happy. It has been argued that in the overall scheme of life, a cuddle can be more satisfying than full-on sex. Some like pizza twice a week; some once a year. Some like pepperoni and some like pineapple. Why compare your personal preferences to anyone else’s. They really don’t matter one iota.

#7

New Member

You wish to frame that moment for entire experience of your existence in your mind.

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